I completed a
five-week grieving course at the Homecare/Hospice here in Manhattan – 10
sessions, three hours a week. I appreciated the
facilitator Dan Clayton and my support group of 12. I've learned grief is a normal reaction to
loss, how it impacts us is different to each of us. It usually is hard to make sense of the
process, but in the end, it will involve: accepting the reality of the death,
experiencing the pain of grief, adjusting to an environment in which the
deceased is missing – loss of presence, finding a way to memorialize the loved
one, and press on with one's life.
Different techniques were taught to us to monitor how we are
doing: keeping a journal, "who are you" exercise, and assessing our
well-being. And finally, getting help
when I need it is a sign of strength, not weakness.
1. The process of mom
dying seems so surreal to be. My
question to me constantly was, "what just happened here."
2. I found starting
with John 11 in the Bible and other scriptures that grieving is not a process
to go through alone. Even Job in his illness, had friends who came and sat with
him.
3. In my support
group I was able to verbalize my "elephants in the room" with
everyone, instead of internalizing and smothering things. Job, after a period of seven days and seven
nights verbalized his feelings.
4. Like Job, we don't just grieve the loss of family and
friends. We can also grieve the loss of
property, pets, ability, and health.
5. Finding balance in
doing something for me, to find joy.
Balance can change. Physically caring for my body was a little
neglected. The other areas to maintain
and be aware of is the mental, spiritual, and emotional components.
Remember me and your Mom are here for you. Grandma G's death is still very fresh, so it's ok to talk about her. We are ok about this. So thankful and blessed to have you guys.
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